Victim or Victor Mentality – All Up to You


Quiet as its kept, I’ve had an eventful three and a half months so far. 2013 could be the greatest year of my life or one of the worst, and I’m a true believer that so much of that hinges on my personal attitude and responses to situations.

“Your attitude determines your altitude.”

“Positive thinking brings about positive situations.”

Catch phrases. Panaceas against hardship and trials. And damn annoying when it feels like you’re getting it from all angles and there is no one in your corner to tag in and fight with you. My blessing is that I’ve never felt alone but it’s understandable that in seasons of trial, when you’re sowing for the reaping, when you’re in the valley and looking toward the peak of the mountain, you feel the most alone.

We live in a society that allows us to play the victim. This is especially true for those of us who are blessed the most. How many of us have grumbled and groaned about being passed up for a promotion, a perceived slight from a friend or colleague or worst yet, complaining about something that is within our ability to change and we’ve been to shortsighted or stubborn to do so? My challenges could truly have allowed me to play the ultimate “VICTIM” card, to writhe and moan and eke out sympathy from all those around me. I could have blasted my business on social media, decried society and individuals alike, and then sat back and let the good wave of “Poor you” and “How awful” roll over me and stew in my situation.

I don’t get down like that. From an early age, my mom instilled in us the principle of “24 Hour Pity Party.” Roughly translated to: “Take your day of self-pity for whatever has befallen you, self-medicate in cookies and ice cream, a vodka neat, talking it out, hiding under your blanket and generally blaming the world…and then build a bridge and get over it.” Tough love but dang if it doesn’t work. I grew up without a “Woe is me” chip on my shoulder, daring the world to bump it off whenever I felt I didn’t get what I deserved. When I get knocked for a loop, much like I have been since Jan. 1 of this year, I don’t know any other method of coping other than to dust myself off and figure out the next step. Victim mentality, even when I’ve truly been a victim, doesn’t suit me and likely it doesn’t suit you either. So I challenge you to see the beauty of getting a bowl full of lemons – you’ll never get scurvy!

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