Inspiration for Creating Your Community: From Running to Yoga

The majority of my career has been spent in fields where diversity is lacking: travel/tourism, public relations/marketing and yoga. Despite the limited number of professionals who look like me, I’ve managed to create a network of contacts, associates and friends who understand the unique challenges people of color face in our shared industry.

Yoga, both as a community of practitioners and as a career, is facing a critical review. Many students feel a sense of otherness while in studio. And while you can find many photogenic yogis on Twitter and Instagram, it’s not likely that you will find a brown or black face among the well-known teachers and leaders at yoga conferences and events. Yoga may bring to mind peace, love and good feelings, but it’s also a business and a billion dollar industry. It’s hard to get excited about investing in an fitness environment that prices you out and doesn’t embrace you when you do venture into a class.

Knowing the challenge of representation in the yoga community, the growth of running clubs started and run by African American men and women has given me hope for what could happen to yoga. Groups like Black Girls RUN!, Black Men Run and Run2Live created multi-city communities from people who felt unwelcome in mainstream running clubs but still wanted to participate in the sport. Black Girls RUN! has been on my radar for about a year now. While they’re runs are far too early for my blood (seriously, what does 4:45 a.m. look like?), I have friends who swear by the camaraderie of the group, clocking multiple-mile runs two to three times per week.  The same high they get, heels pounding the pavement and sweat flying while they surpass personal records and create memories, is what I’d like to see created for men and women of color in yoga.

Now that I’ve made the comparison, I will point out that yoga is a different beast. For starters, most people practice yoga in a studio, which can be a restrictive cost. Running starts at walking, which requires minimal equipment (shoes, hat, iPod for music). Issues about costs can be addressed by offering classes at a reasonable rate in the communities that aren’t being exposed to yoga. Additionally, the running groups participate in races, which is another layer of satisfaction – who doesn’t love the thrill of a race and getting a medal? Yoga typically isn’t associated with competition or awards. By setting and achieving individual and group goals, yoga can create that feeling of accomplishment that some derive from running.

I was lucky enough to be in a certification course with two other Black women. I’ve kept in touch to learn more about their experiences of being a student and in finding a place to be a leader. The USA Today article and the founders of the running groups have inspired me to create a network of independent and in-studio teachers of color. Though Dallas is not considered a major hub like an Atlanta, NY or DC, the city is fitness-focused and greater visibility of black and brown yogis can bring additional people into the fold.

What is the multicultural yoga community like in your city? Do you see a unity like the running groups, or is it more disjointed? What are you doing to create a more inclusive community?

Does Being a Leader Mean Never Having to Say “I’m Sorry”?

Think about the last time you made a public mistake, be it in your personal or professional life. How did you handle it? Were you apologetic? Did you immediately make amends to anyone affected? And then, when the dust had settled, did you reflect on it, file the information and move on? Those are the “right” things to do, according to anyone with a lick of sense. When it comes to me, though, you won’t find one phrase in my acts of contrition: “I’m sorry.”

Now, this is not to say that I don’t experience regret or feel that I’m wrong, because it definitely happens. What I’m saying is that the words “I’m sorry” are not part of my vocabulary (usually). They’re right up there with the act of crying – there are just some things that can’t be taken back.

Let me explain my rationale. I want to solve issues, preferably before they become full-fledged problems. When a problem does arise, I’d rather dedicate time to quashing it than explaining it, apologizing for it and then resolving it. The act of saying “I’m sorry” puts you on the back foot. Unless a person has truly goofed in an irreparable way, there is always a way to make things better. Being solutions-focused means I’m looking ahead at next steps, not down at where I am currently still in the mistake.

To give an example: I encountered a situation in which, though it wasn’t me who screwed up, it fell to me as the person responsible for the one who did screw up. My response was to take responsibility, in writing, and begin discussing what could be done to rectify the situation. Unfortunately, the phrase “I take responsibility” didn’t have the same effect as “I’m sorry” to the superiors, and I was admonished specifically for not apologizing. Even years later, I believe this was one of the best examples of mismanagement I’ve encountered. Instead of focusing on my desire to fix the problem, the manager instead only saw the lack of the specific words that made them feel better. Even after pointing out that I had not shirked my role in the situation, I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. The manager’s reaction confirmed what I’d already suspected about some people: To say “I’m sorry” is akin to groveling, laying prostrate and allowing someone to be “right” in your wrongness.

Since then, I’ve stood in my anti-sorry stance. Thankfully, the people that I work with now are of the problem-solving variety rather than the make-me-feel-better type, which means that when it comes to it, we’re on the get-things-done team.

What about you? Do you find yourself apologizing unnecessarily? (The way people, especially women, apologize for the littlest things is whole ‘nother post.) Or are you team no-apologies-necessary? What’s your fix-it tactic?

A Skeptic Builds an Inspiration Board

As part of my continued practice of bringing positivity into my life by exhibiting positive attitudes, I began working with personal coach Mia Redrick. I’m not a mother in need of finding balance between home and work life, which is one of Mia’s areas of expertise, but the recommendations for her business coaching from associates said it wouldn’t matter. So, stepping out on faith on this one. The first group call demonstrated that there is a variety of women who are looking for the same thing I’m seeking, which reassured me. However, as we wrapped up the call, Mia gave us the first assignments: a vision board.

*insert record scratch*

Let it be stated that until this point in my life, I’ve never believed in vision boards. I believe in positivity, I believe in prayer and I believe in writing down your goals/objectives/wishes. It just went beyond my limitations that poster board, glue stick, images and some aspirational phrases would get me any closer to what I want in life. It’s all too Oprah-Real Simple magazine for me. Also, please remember I’m from Southwest Houston, we didn’t do things like make vision boards.

Also known as “not my cup of tea.”

After much harumphing and sighing, my sense of “why not” (and also my knowledge that this was part of a process of self-betterment that I’m paying for) overrode my long-held stance. I made my way to Target and got a nice black poster, started ripping through old issues of Inc.ForbesLucky and Women’s Health Magazine and next I’ll break out the glue stick to start organizing my thoughts into the most spectacular vision board ever made. I’ll make a note to share the final version on here.

What are your thoughts on vision boards? Do you think they were part of your success plan? Even better, share yours with me if you’ve done one before.

Victim or Victor Mentality – All Up to You

6644103809_2239e7ae2c

Quiet as its kept, I’ve had an eventful three and a half months so far. 2013 could be the greatest year of my life or one of the worst, and I’m a true believer that so much of that hinges on my personal attitude and responses to situations.

“Your attitude determines your altitude.”

“Positive thinking brings about positive situations.”

Catch phrases. Panaceas against hardship and trials. And damn annoying when it feels like you’re getting it from all angles and there is no one in your corner to tag in and fight with you. My blessing is that I’ve never felt alone but it’s understandable that in seasons of trial, when you’re sowing for the reaping, when you’re in the valley and looking toward the peak of the mountain, you feel the most alone.

We live in a society that allows us to play the victim. This is especially true for those of us who are blessed the most. How many of us have grumbled and groaned about being passed up for a promotion, a perceived slight from a friend or colleague or worst yet, complaining about something that is within our ability to change and we’ve been to shortsighted or stubborn to do so? My challenges could truly have allowed me to play the ultimate “VICTIM” card, to writhe and moan and eke out sympathy from all those around me. I could have blasted my business on social media, decried society and individuals alike, and then sat back and let the good wave of “Poor you” and “How awful” roll over me and stew in my situation.

I don’t get down like that. From an early age, my mom instilled in us the principle of “24 Hour Pity Party.” Roughly translated to: “Take your day of self-pity for whatever has befallen you, self-medicate in cookies and ice cream, a vodka neat, talking it out, hiding under your blanket and generally blaming the world…and then build a bridge and get over it.” Tough love but dang if it doesn’t work. I grew up without a “Woe is me” chip on my shoulder, daring the world to bump it off whenever I felt I didn’t get what I deserved. When I get knocked for a loop, much like I have been since Jan. 1 of this year, I don’t know any other method of coping other than to dust myself off and figure out the next step. Victim mentality, even when I’ve truly been a victim, doesn’t suit me and likely it doesn’t suit you either. So I challenge you to see the beauty of getting a bowl full of lemons – you’ll never get scurvy!